作文题目：Some people think the purpose of education is to have a better life in the future; others argue that its aim is only for
a self-improvement. What is your opinion?
In the contemporary world, it can be observed that the issue of education purpose has grown in importance. In my opinion, education is an effective way to improve the life quality of human in the future.
To begin with, a variety of reasons can be offered to explain why I am in
Secondly, it is also true that governments’ policies play an essential role in our daily life. Then, a comprehensive and easy-to-execute policy depends on scientific and sufficient plans, researches and discussion. These operations must favorable finished by policy-makers who are familiar with science, politics,
However, it is undeniable that most of the common people just pursuit for a job with high-income through higher education certificates. The deep influence and essence of knowledge and education are not concerned consciously by them. Therefore, in some sense, self-improvement is the most obvious and utilitarian propose for a person.
In a nutshell, I am firmly convinced that educational purpose is to have a better life in the future, and the argument that its aim is only for self-improvement cannot hold water.
啰嗦例如：To begin with,后面又firstly。这对于计算机来说不一定会判错，但要知道，计算机的逻辑当中“Firstly Secondly Thirdly”成一组，“To begin with, then, also, thus”等成一组。你文章中混合搭配逻辑至少在人看来太乱。
Firstly, it is indeed a fact that the development of technology increases dramatically the efficiency of production in terms of industry and agriculture, which is based on innovators who are highly educational.
然后副词的使用，正确语序是：xxx has increased xxx dramatically，而不是现在这样
Firstly, it is indeed a fact that the development of technology has increased the efficiency of production dramatically in terms of industry and agriculture.
Firstly, the development of technology brought forth by the highly educated innovators has increased the efficiency of production dramatically in terms of industry and agriculture.
作文最后的can not hold water不合适，要考虑到俗语并不是书面语言，计算机不一定能理解。这里用is wrong 甚至都比用俗语好。